Hello. My name is Brydie and I’m a distracted feminist.
It’s an odd title but, but there it sits. Like me sitting down to write this post. I thought, I ummed, I errred a little, I paused, I read and then I thought some more. I had an idea, and then…well, I got distracted. Distracted by the bills that needed paying, one or two children, the door bell briefly and then I got distracted by the enormity of the topic- feminism.
I read article after article on different feminist points of views. I had rich and emotionally charged conversations with my husband. I laughed and laughed when I watched this funny lady. And then I thought some more.
Initially, I thought feminism wasn’t dead at all, instead it had just been pushed to the back of the ‘I’m too busy’ pile along with so many other things that people used to have an opinion about.
When people’s attention span has so dramatically decreased in recent years with the introduction of social media, online options, and general ‘busyness‘. It’s hard to hold someone’s attention for ten pages of feminist musings. Let alone, an entire book.
After that initial thought though, I leapt from one thought process to the next and wondered if our communities weren’t being exceptionally dumbed down and our women still indeed have a long road to travel. It sits uncomfortably that thought, but it sits all the same. Gender based inequalities, a rather long held topic really.
I do think living in a continually distracted state can keep us from some of the most important things in life- things that we should have an opinion on and be engaged with.
While I’m completely guilty of being a distracted feminist at times, I’m also more aware of things then I ever was as my younger self. Stories, plights, endeavours and opinions of my fellow women I will devour and never tire of hearing about. Why? Because I am a woman and I want to think about these things. I want to have an opinion. I want to play a part in trying to change things that need changing. And it’s not just women that need to think about these things it’s our men and boys as well. Inequalities should be thought of as we are human, not because of what sex we are.
Becoming a parent introduced me to a whole range of subtle feminist musings I had never previously considered as a childless person. Things to consider, actions made or simply words and their substantial weight when said in a seemingly careless fashion.
So how does my day-to-day life align with feminist thinkings without dusting off the Germaine Greer books by my bed side table and stalking Clementine Ford‘s twitter feed? Well, it’s having an opinion and speaking up when I hear stupid comments like…
“Oh take your skirt off!” said to the young boy when he was hurt playing soccer and had paused the game.
“Boys will be boys”, on a messy bedroom. No, just because they have a penis doesn’t mean they are entitled to a room that looks like a bombs gone off, and yes girls can do that just as well, (my sister was an expert in this.)
I don’t just read books to my kids where the hero is always a male. Nor do I subscribe to the useless princess stories waiting for her whole life to be fixed by a charming prince.
I won’t put clothing on my daughter that will restrict her playing, learning and her general keeping up with her big brothers (or anyone else) because she is the “dainty feminine one”. Sure she LOVES tutus, and if that tutu is covered in mud and paint splodges at the end of the day well, it looks like that has been a damn good day.
I won’t cultivate my boys interests to more “masculine” orientated themes. If they are interested in something, bloody hell, I’ll do whatever I can to encourage that.
I also refuse to take stupid comments like, “oh your husband will understand better” on asking for technical advice in a phone shop, before being fobbed off. No. Err, no he won’t, which is why I am here asking for help.
It’s true. I am unfortunately a distracted feminist- things can get busy round these parts, just as they can for so many other people. But I can also can be a distracted mother, wife, friend, daughter, sister. Along with a 100 other labels I could pin upon myself. The difference is, that I am interested, and I do have curiosity to know more, do more, think more. I certainly don’t see my sex as being inferior or less than and I refuse to take on any restrictions that someone cares to throw at me because of it.
What I will do is, have an evolving strong feminist leaning opinion…albeit at times a slightly distracted one.
Today is International Women’s Day, the 8th of March– this post, along with another at the end of the week will be written with a feminine curve, (just as I did last year with these posts below.)
Guilty rambles with a divided heart
Lavender and inspiring women