how to slam a tim tam

Sometimes life leaves you no other options.

Sometimes you just have to buy a packet of chocolate biscuits and dunk them… Sometimes these kind of things just need to be done.

Step One- Open your packet of Tim Tams.

Step Two- Nibble the opposite ends

Step Three- Dunk one of the nibbled corners into an appropriately dainty tea cup and suck.

Stop sucking when your dunking liquid of choice, goes up to the top. Inside the biscuit is now squishy and soft with the hot liquid going through it.  Quickly drop the whole biscuit into your mouth before losing it to a messy slop inside your cup.

Step Four- Smile contentedly.

Step Five- Repeat as necessary.

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chocolate vanilla layer biscuits

Biscuits are handy.

They can sidetrack a hungry belly that is calling out for food.

They can quieten a noisy Monkey.

You can eat them with one hand.

They can give a subtle little sugar hit, when the search is on.

You can balance one on your nose… if you felt so inclined.

And most importantly they are really easy to make.

Chocolate Vanilla Layer Biscuits, my current favourites.

Chocolate Vanilla Layer Biscuits

250g softened butter

220g (1 cup) caster sugar

4 tsp vanilla

2 eggs

450g (3 cups) plain flour

2 1/2 tbls cocoa

Beat softened butter and sugar together until creamy looking. Add vanilla and eggs, beat until mixed well. Add the flour and mix until a dough forms. Divide the mixture in half, and add the cocoa to one of the halves. Mix it in well. Roll out mixtures seperately, between two sheets of baking paper to about 1cm thickness with a rolling pin. Pop the dough sheets in to the fridge until hardens completely.

Once hardened, take the sheets out, remove baking paper and line the two doughs on top of each other. With a sharp knife, cut through the two layers, about an inch in width. Place strips on top of remaining dough and cut again, making sure it’s the same size. Once you have the four layers, cut strips into approximately 1 cm sized thickness. Lay them on a lined baking tray, and keep going with the rest of the dough.

Bake at 180C for approximately 25 minutes.

(This recipe makes quite a few biscuits… but it does depend on how much of the dough you eat raw.)

chocolate immunity

Mr Chocolate always said that he had chocolate immunity.

That is, he can eat a vast quantity and have no ill effects from it. No effect what so ever. Having been on quite a few long car journeys where I’ve been the chocolate supplier to the never-ending opening mouth. Yes, I think I could vouch for the fact he can put quite a lot away and still having nothing to show for it.

Not me though, if I have too much I know about it. Heart rate goes up, tongue goes a little odd. One square too many? Yes, I think so.

Not Mr Chocolate though. Dark, milk, white, they’re all there. The household is a sad and sorry one if it looks like we are down to our last 100 grams. The man likes to have options and he also likes to dip in to those options on a regular basis.

With that in mind, dipping into those options he did. Right before a chiropractor appointment. Thinking nothing of the couple of hundred grams of goodness he had just consumed before going in. He was a little startled to find the chiropractor finding a new point in his head that showed a spike in high blood sugar levels.

Were you drinking last night? she questioned

Pffft, no way.

Have you had something quite sweet recently?

Uh ohh…

Perhaps a little chocolate this morning?

Busted. Chocolate immunity no more. It clearly was coming up on a point on his head and was there for all to see. Well for all canny chiropractors known for using corresponding cranial points anyway. His pancreas was clearly waving the red flag of, “I’ve just consumed rather a lot of good quality chocolate in order to get through the working day.”

Lesson learnt anyway. Mr Chocolate now knows, it’s a much better idea to eat that block and a half AFTER his next chiropractor appointment. That way chocolate immunity remains intact.

Everyday Chocolate Mint Biscuits

175g softened butter

110g (1/2 cup) caster sugar

1 tsp vanilla

1 tsp peppermint essence

300g (2 cups) plain flour

1/2 cup cocoa powder

Cream butter and sugar in a mixer until pale and fluffy. Mix in, vanilla and peppermint, then add remaining flour and cocoa.

Quick knead and roll dough between two sheets of baking paper, approximately 5mm thick and refrigerate until dough is firm.

Cut into shapes and bake at 180C for approximately 20 minutes.