I think I’ve lost my voice.
Not my speaking voice, but my writing voice. I’m not the first, and certainly not the last… but I think I’ve lost it non the less.
When I first started this blog it had a purpose, a reason. Time ticked on and the blog slowly changed and I along with it. Or is that, I changed and the blog along with me? Not huge changes, but subtle changes. I discovered the love of sourdough. I snuck in to a wonderful blog community, I started washing my hair with bicarb, I discovered new and beautiful souls, that if I didn’t live half a world away I would really, really like to invite them over for an afternoon coffee. I kept visiting farmers markets and dreaming of living a life that involved being more self sufficient. I had a baby here at home, our third baby, but first at home. The sweetest little baby that makes your heart thump with joy on seeing her wake in the morning.
I baked, I cooked, we planned and did a really small amount of planting.
Time slowly felt shorter and shorter. Time to think and write got pushed back…and back again. Words were rolling around my head, but seemingly sticking to the sides and not flowing out like they used to.
I still felt the same. Maybe even more so. I still hated shopping at the supermarket. I adored baking and cooking for our family. Eating seasonally, talking with local farmers at various markets on how they do things. I still planted ambitiously in my sad looking pot plants. I embraced things that were handmade, creative and different. Upcycled, recycled, locally made… I love it all. So why could I not write about it?
How has cityhippyfarmgirl managed to lose her blog voice; considering all the things I hold dear are more important than they have ever been?
Do I need to fit in to a blog niche? Is that so important? I thought it was at one stage, but maybe that just isn’t me. Was I a green blog, a food blog or a mama blog? I wasn’t sure, and maybe that’s ok…
Maybe it’s ok to be the hack baker, wannabe crafter, farmers market advocate, passionate natural birther, city flat living, second hand retro lover, mama to three, wife to one, taker of pictures, thinker of too much, hula hooping*, scatty brained, decaf coffee drinking- blogger.
Maybe it’s ok to just really enjoy the blog for what it is. A place to put my recipes, words and pictures. Connect with an amazing social media community that never ceases to amaze me. Sink back into the chair a little, except that time is moving really quickly around me and there is no point what so ever in trying to produce something that simply isn’t there.
After that complete purge of words… I think I may have found my voice again.
Maybe I just needed to get it off my chest, take a deep breath and type…
Do you have anything on your chest that may feel a whole lot better if written out?
*hulahooping, yes it’s true.