take a deep breath and type…

I think I’ve lost my voice.

Not my speaking voice, but my writing voice. I’m not the first, and certainly not the last… but I think I’ve lost it non the less.

When I first started this blog it had a purpose, a reason. Time ticked on and the blog slowly changed and I along with it. Or is that, I changed and the blog along with me? Not huge changes, but subtle changes. I discovered the love of sourdough. I snuck in to a wonderful blog community, I started washing my hair with bicarb, I discovered new and beautiful souls, that if I didn’t live half a world away I would really, really like to invite them over for an afternoon coffee. I kept visiting farmers markets and dreaming of living a life that involved being more self sufficient. I had a baby here at home, our third baby, but first at home. The sweetest little baby that makes your heart thump with joy on seeing her wake in the morning.

I baked, I cooked, we planned and did a really small amount of planting.

Time slowly felt shorter and shorter. Time to think and write got pushed back…and back again. Words were rolling around my head, but seemingly sticking to the sides and not flowing out like they used to.

I still felt the same. Maybe even more so. I still hated shopping at the supermarket. I adored baking and cooking for our family. Eating seasonally, talking with local farmers at various markets on how they do things. I still planted ambitiously in my sad looking pot plants. I embraced things that were handmade, creative and different. Upcycled, recycled, locally made… I love it all. So why could I not write about it?

How has cityhippyfarmgirl managed to lose her blog voice; considering all the things I hold dear are more important than they have ever been?

Do I need to fit in to a blog niche? Is that so important? I thought it was at one stage, but maybe that just isn’t me. Was I a green blog, a food blog or a mama blog? I wasn’t sure, and maybe that’s ok…

Maybe it’s ok to be the hack baker, wannabe crafter, farmers market advocate, passionate natural birther, city flat living, second hand retro lover, mama to three, wife to one, taker of pictures, thinker of too much, hula hooping*, scatty brained, decaf coffee drinking- blogger.

Maybe it’s ok to just really enjoy the blog for what it is. A place to put my recipes, words and pictures. Connect with an amazing social media community that never ceases to amaze me. Sink back into the chair a little, except that time is moving really quickly around me and there is no point what so ever in trying to produce something that simply isn’t there.

After that complete purge of words…Ā I think I may have found my voice again.

Maybe I just needed to get it off my chest, take a deep breath and type…

********

Do you have anything on your chest that may feel a whole lot better if written out?

*hulahooping, yes it’s true.Ā 

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44 thoughts on “take a deep breath and type…

  1. I’ve been reading your blog for a while now but this is the first time I’ve commented šŸ™‚

    I love your blog and so glad you’ve decided to just keep writing. I got worried for a second that post was going to end differently.

    Trying to label your blog is about as easy as putting yourself in one category. It’s the complexity that makes things interesting. You are doing a great job, so just keep going šŸ™‚

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  2. I think you’ve got a blog voice – you write so well! And I think it’s okay not to be compartmentalised into a specific category – Hotly Spiced roams all over the blogging genres too! Lovely photo of your biscuits – so perfect xx

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  3. Ha- I’m not alone. Actually I think this happens with so many bloggers. Although when I first started blogging it was to get over the death of my sister after 10 years on not writing anything, because everything hurt too much. And then I started connecting with people and started sharing and writing to and for them as well as myself.
    You do have a voice- it is just heard on a wider scale than you had planned, Brydie. I listen and find myself considering and thinking about things that I hadn’t even heard of before!
    Anyway- good post- just don’t say goodbye and chuck it all!!!

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  4. You are unique and your blog is unique. That’s the way it should be.

    I’ve have a couple of phases of angst about how my blog has changed since I started. Is that a good thing? Is that a bad thing?

    Angst about whether I was trying to write a certain ‘type’ of blog and whether I was any good at that style.

    But then I realised that my blog is an expression of me. I write about what I want when I want. It might be deeply personal about my grandparents passing away or it might be totally flippant. Sure it is nice if someone reads it and leaves a comment, but I don’t mind if they don’t.

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  5. I love your blog. I love the way you take us through your life. When I started blogging, it was just because I wanted to write. I never dreamed people would even want to read what I put down on those pages. I don’t have a specific type of blog, just words and happenings. And actually, I feel that is the best type of blog. I love being able to read about things going on with my blog friends who like you, I would love to sit down and talk to. I have found a community of wonderful people.

    You found your voice in just the right way. Please continue to write what you feel and what you are doing whatever it is.

    Hugs,
    Sharon

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  6. Brydie I love coming here for all aspects of your writing — the monkeys, coffee, chocolate, bread, frugality, the seasons etc etc. Please just write, you’re not a brand neither is the blog, and how could anyone put cityhippyfarmgirl in a niche? šŸ™‚

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  7. As a busy fellow mum of three I lack the headspace to do many of the things I would like, but I always take time out to read your blog and absorb your words, thoughts, recipes and ideas which are inspiring and calming. We are all evolving as life ticks by and we face new changes and you have a lovely writing style that describes this so eloquently. Please don’t stop šŸ™‚

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  8. I love seeing your posts arrive in my inbox because I can never be sure what I am going to read about ….. So long as it is fun for you, it will be fun for me to read …… Joy

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  9. Hearing you muchly. Struggling a little here too. After having a micro break the one thing I know is that family comes first, real life comes first, everything else just has to fit in around it. Right? Hoping one day I can see that hula hoop in action. Will be enjoying your posts when they appear on whatever topic in the meantime! xx

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  10. Brydie for what it’s worth I don’t think your blog needs to fit into a particular category – I think it’s about “life” and all the flotsam and jetsam that are part of the every day. I love reading your posts – they help me remember that we’re all connected, all essentially one, and they also help me be grateful for all my many blessings, and to remember that life is a precious gift. I hope your voice continues for a long, long time – it sings a truly beautiful song.

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  11. Oh dear! Are there rules to blogging? I thought it was all just about expressing what was in your heart and mattered to you… if that isn’t what some people want, then they simply needn’t keep reading. I know I shall though, because I simply like what you have to say xox

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  12. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… people, you all rock. You really do.

    Thank you for making this whole blogging thing such a wonderful space to be in. I think my blog was having an identity crisis, and it had been building up for awhile. Having written this post and reading all your wonderful comments though, it really does feel a lot more freeing.

    Thank you.
    xx

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  13. Brydie, it’s your blog that I come back to time and time again, though I may not always comment on each post. I enjoy the honesty with which you write, both well observed and reflective, wry and questioning.

    And writing, talking, sharing; it all helps, and grows stronger connections all round; as my recent visits to yours would attest.

    Hugs and thoughts.

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  14. Brydie, I have been reading your blog for over a year now. Your journey with bread encouraged me to get a starter going.. And I’ve since shared it with friends. I’m a new grandma but I love reading your blog. It keeps me grounded on the big picture. I might come home from work and listen to the news but I also look forward to your blog… There’s more to life than what’s on tv.

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  15. Lovely lady, do not change a thing. I love how your blog has developed and I am inspired by it constantly. You remind me of all the good things in life that sometimes I forget are still out there. The blog reminds me just how much I miss you and how lucky I am to have you as my friend. You blog about the things I love and I don’t even have children. There has always been something very tranquil about you and I feel that carries through to your blog. Don’t worry about belonging to a niche, it’s a lifestyle blog and I love it!

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  16. I agree with all the comments above – and indeed, with your own conclusions. I know I love your posts whatever they are on, be it baking or family or photos or the environment. I think there’s a component that we probably can’t name or characterise that runs through them all and makes your blog what it is. Expectations are hard work and letting them slide – and letting blogging do what it will, when it will – may just be the answer šŸ™‚

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  17. Brydie, your posts are always a joy; I always head straight here when a notification of a new article from you lands in my inbox. And the reason is clear to me: it feels like a home where I’d love to be. That’s why I always return.

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  18. “Maybe itā€™s ok to be the hack baker, wannabe crafter, farmers market advocate, passionate natural birther, city flat living, second hand retro lover, mama to three, wife to one, taker of pictures, thinker of too much, hula hooping*, scatty brained, decaf coffee drinking- blogger.”

    This is exactly why we read your blog – it’s authenticity. Well, plus the delicious pictures of home-made goodies!

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  19. I can’t add much to what everyone else has already said so beautifully. (Suffering as I do from an almost terminal case of midlfeblogitis and consulting many sources, I have it on good authority that dark chocolate marzipan is rather good for voice loss in chronic cases) xx

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  20. I absolutely adore your photograph and the plate is so beautiful! How much you asking? I wanna buy, I wanna buy it!
    It’s lovely to be able to use your blog as a sounding board. If you can’t be honest in your blog writing then what’s the point. I see you’ve connected with many people on many levels and that is a wonderful thing Brydie. Now. Seriously – how much you askin’? Mariana x

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    • I love that plate too. It was a present from my mum for last years birthday. It has a handle in the middle which you can’t see from the picture. It would also go well in our high tea/vintage/hand made goodies shop eh Mariana?

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      • Oh pleeeaaase – don’t start me. High tea and vintage are the only words that can literally make me jump out of my chair and run if need be. I’m lovin’ it – yesterday made three plate purchases, so the collection is steadily growing Brydie. Your mother obviously has great taste – perhaps that’s where your vintage/artistic/crafty/cooking brilliance comes from. One day my dear, one day.

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  21. So glad you found your voice again. I love your blog! Don’t ever feel you need to fit into any niche – just write whatever you like and keep posting pictures of chocolate!!

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  22. I love your voice. It’s honest and it is what it is. Sometimes it’s wordy, sometimes it’s expressed in yesterdays bake and little feet in the sand. But it always is what it is, and I find it refreshing that you’re not blogging under a very defined umbrella. Keep doing what you are doing, in your own pace. Don’t chase the voice, but let the voice flow when you can feel it. Ebb and flow. You’re doing great.

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  23. Oh! Like others, I thought this was a final post. I’m glad it’s not.
    I understand though, I used to blog prolifically. Then stopped. Then started. Repeat, and try to find a mold to fit. And now I still don’t write nearly as often as I’d like.
    But I have to laugh – hula hooping! My hoops are getting dusty in the garage šŸ™‚ It’s something else I haven’t done often enough for a while!

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  24. I think it is natural for blogs to change. Change is fine and healthy. What is important is to be true to yourself and give your blog a heart – I enjoy watching the blog gently flutter in the wind, blown this way and that in tune with the rhythms of your life

    What tires me is about blogging at the moment is annoying anonymous spam comments – wish they would go play with their hula hoop!

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  25. Hi Brydie, this post resonates with me so much as I have also been a bit worried that my Blog lacked direction, starting out with a caravan adventure and now entering pregnancy and baby territory but I’ve been reassured just like all the lovely comments above that that is totally fine and the way our lives work. I think at some point the subject matter of a Blog becomes less important as you get to know the person behind the Blog. This is why I love your Blog and I – your personality really shines through and I couldn’t care less if you talked about a delicious recipe (although I DO love these) or how you cleaned out the fridge on the weekend šŸ˜€ Keep on keeping on! Mel xx

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  26. Trying to label a blog is like trying to label a person – an oversimplification šŸ˜‰

    I think people would read and enjoy whatever you wrote because you write honestly about things that are important to you. That’s all that matters. x t.

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